Success

Writing is a lot like puking in the sense where if you don't get it all out, you feel uneasy. At least I do.

 I've had so much goddamn deja vu lately, which may be unrelated.

This urge to write usually comes right before I need to leave for work or before I know I need to head to bed, such as now. I need to be awake in the morning to work a Sunday breakfast shift. But I'm sick of putting things off. This gut feeling keeps attacking me. Over and over and I keep telling it fuck off, out of basically pure laziness or anxiety. Procrastination.

I watched a video recently that reminded me how fucking amazing I am. Not just me though, you too. You're amazing as well. But that I already know. I will gladly give any single person the love and praise that they deserve but when it comes time to look at myself in the mirror and say those same things, it's not as easy. But isn't that just the human condition? We're all stuck here in our own minds, trying to open them up. See the bigger picture.

And I saw a glimpse of the bigger picture listening to a gentleman named Eric Thomas tell a classroom full of students that the success that they want, they simply don't want it bad enough. He told a story about a man going to a guru for advice. He told the guru that he wanted to make a lot of money. The guru told the man to meet him at the beach and the man didn't understand why but decided to do it anyway and see what happens. So the next day the man shows up at the beach in a suit and the guru tells the man to start walking into the water. He's a bit hesitant but slowly and surely the guru has coaxed the man into water deep enough where he can shove his head underwater. The man is struggling, waving his arms, gasping for air and eventually the guru lets him raise his head above the water. The guru then asked "Let me ask you something... When you were under water, what did you want to do?" The man replied "I wanted to breathe." And so the guru finally replied "When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath, then you'll be successful."

And I've thought about those words, I've replayed those words, over and over again in my mind the past weeks or so since hearing them.

The key to life is always in our palm whether or not we choose to see it.

We are our own tools. We need nothing more than what we have. This canvas you're starting out with, these cards that you've been dealt ARE NOT an excuse. But how easy is it sometimes to use as a crutch? Too easy, for ALL of us. But the people reaping all the benefits of success are no better than you or I, they've simply taught their doubting fucking minds to shut the fuck up. Fear is a useless fucking liar. It is. Believe me when I say this.

"Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, and it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the "Someday I'll" philosophy."

- Denis Waitley