There are so many things that don't matter compared to the things that do. And by saying that I mean, I'm constantly thinking about my failing memory. Although it's become a common joke between my best friends and I, I've come to accept that if I'm fortunate enough to reach old age, my memory may not. And as my confused mind looks back on my life, I wonder what things will be so deep rooted and important, that I'll never let them go.
If I find myself so wrapped up in life's curveballs that come my way, I'll try to stop and think "If this won't matter to me in my old age, maybe it doesn't matter that much at all". Sometimes it's easier to simplify it by wondering if this cause of stress or fear or anger will matter a year or two from now, so I often refer to that as well. More often than not, the answer is "No" it will not fucking matter a year or two from now, so let it go.
We're constantly reading these quotes on social media about embracing life & seizing the moment... How fucking ironic. We're looking at screens at these quotes and sometimes screenshotting them, sharing them, or reblogging them (guilty!)... But how many times are we actually shutting down our laptops, putting away our iPhones, or fuck, even thinking about these quotes of inspiration for more than 3 seconds before moving onto the next thing in our day (or newsfeed)? What if the people who lived these amazing lives to give us these quotes had the same access to technology? I like to think if they could look into the future, they'd say that we now live in an era of A.D.D. stemming from our new addiction to social media.
And with that being said, I shall start my list.
-The number of likes you get on Facebook or Instagram will not fucking matter to you one fucking bit when you're old and wrinkly, but you know what will? Wishing you could have all that time back spent online. (And our crooked fucking necks will be screaming at us for lack of keeping our heads straight rather than at the mini computers in our palms.) Now I'm just as guilty as the rest of you. Who the fuck needs a Facebook, twitter, an Instagram and a Tumblr? Fucking no one does, that's who. I mean, what the fuck are we afraid of missing out on? Because what we're really missing is exactly what social media CAN'T give us, real life. Will your Starbucks taste any less awesome (actually Starbucks kind of sucks) if you don't take a picture of it?
-I realized that with how much time I sometimes spend on my phone, I've lost out on some serious people watching. And that makes me sad because LA is an amazing people watching city as a whole. Even if you're not a fellow people watcher, I challenge you to do it for even 5 minutes and not notice at least one beautiful thing that you've seen or found out about a stranger. Also, people watching is sometimes a great way to calm your mind and maybe even meditate in some small way. So, to me in a way, people watching matters because it brings me back to reality. It helps me feel connected to humankind again. And It makes me stop and think that every single person I've encountered, is on their own badass life journey. Every single one of these strangers matters. Every single one has had some sort of love experience in their life, and most have experienced heartbreak in one way or another. Human interaction, empathy, and being able to feel connected to life (not WiFi) matter.
-Since we can't possibly know everyone's story, this brings me onto the next thing that matters to me; kindness. Kindness is such an important thing but can be so easy to forget, specially in this city of sin. At times I'm constantly torn between displaying kindness and not wanting to come off as a pushover to anyone in this tough town. To me, I've realized it's all about finding a middle ground and as corny as it sounds, staying true to myself. Many people may mistake kindness for weakness out here but the times that I have it directed my way from another, I'm the happiest woman alive. It restores my faith in humanity over & over again and can sometimes make my whole damn week. So, to you I say: If you don't already, give it a try. You never know who's day you could be making, or who's life you could be saving with a single kind word. Kindness matters.
-And in return, it matters very little the unkind things that people may say to you. I've never been insulted so many times in my life until I became a server in LA. And just about a month ago my neighbor called me an asshole for practically no reason. And I cried like a little bitch. Although sometime it hurts, I always try to remember that I'm much much more satisfied being on the receiving end of cruelty, than to be the one so easily able to deal it out. At the end of the day, my opinion of myself is the only one that matters. I hope you feel the same way as well. You're a shining fucking star and don't you ever ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Being able to love yourself regardless of all things, matters.
-The close people in your life matter. That may seem like the obvious but at times it can also be easy to forget. Sometimes we take the most important people in our lives for granted because we assume that we always have tomorrow to let them know that we love them. But tomorrow is never promised and time is something you will never ever be able to earn back. Don't assume someone knows how much you love them if you don't tell them. Family, whatever your definition of that is, matters.
-The little things. Life is all about the little things. Love is all about the little things. You may not remember that the date was May 4, 1999 but you will certainly remember it as the night you and your best friend got fast food and stayed up all night talking about nothing. You'll always remember the first time you saw the person you love, even if it was just a glimpse of their face in passing. You'll remember the very first time someone made you feel beautiful/ handsome using such a small amount of words or even just a look. You'll remember every word of the last conversation with your grandmother even if at the time you never would have thought it would be your last. You'll remember these small things from time to time, and they will be the reason you feel so fucking alive sometimes. Not because of a status update and not because of the latest software update, but because in time you will realize that these are the small things that have shaped not only your life but your core being. You are wonderfully you, and sometimes it's just nice to be.
-You matter. And you matter to me. Even if I don't know you, you matter.
We are all one, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. We need eachother. No matter how independant or self sufficient you are, it's nice to be reminded that you're not alone. So know that. Think about it, then feel it and let it soak in. It's as simple and as complicated as that. As you look back on your life some day, maybe you'll even remember this (probably not) and say "That sassy bitch was right". But until then, just try and remember this: This moment in time right now matters, so fucking live it.
xo
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