Gym Intimidation and Just Starting Out

I promised to write about this because I feel like it's a very important issue that simply isn't addressed enough. You scroll down your instagram feed and see these pictures of amazing bodies that you know have required a lot of hard work & dedication... But none of them ever explain the initial "breaking into" their fitness journey or the intimidation that comes with being the newbie at the gym. I honestly don't know why. Maybe it's because they all just happen to have had a lot of confidence to begin with?? Or maybe it's because they all had the money to hire a trainer from the start...

Well take it from this broke ass introvert, I know exactly how it feels to walk into the gym with absolutely no fucking clue what you're doing there or why you even bothered to spend the monthly dues with the expensive ass start up fee. I've wanted to turn around and walk right out the door so many times before and sometimes, I did. Anxiety is a motherfucker. And too many times in the past has it gotten the best of me.

I spent hours upon hours in the cardio room working towards nothing because I was too scared to step foot in that weight room. I mean, when I was younger I trained with my pops who was a bodybuilder but what if I couldn't remember what muscles to train together or what if I couldn't get my form down? I didn't have money for a trainer and I was too nervous to accept any of those free trials with one because I knew at the end I wouldn't know how to say no to them. It may sound silly to you, but to my anxiety ridden mind, it wasn't at all.

And then I met a friend who simply wanted a workout buddy.

She took me under her wing and helped me step foot into the weight room for the first time since I was a kid. She showed me the importance of weight training and that it was okay to bring that bitch face  into the gym with you to keep certain people away. Basically, she helped me change my life.

And sometimes, that's all it takes. A friend to give you that extra nudge in the right direction. We talk to people every single day who have the power to influence us. At any given moment, we're walking by someone who could be a mentor. And you'll never know, unless you ask. You don't necessarily have to have a friend who knows a lot about fitness. You don't even have to have a friend. I'll be your friend. Although I may not be able to physically go to the gym with you, I can route you the fuck on anytime! All you have to have is an interest in learning. So head to the local bookstore and pick up a book about weight training or go to BodyBuilding.com and start looking up workouts (this website is amazing)... And from there, you fake it til you make it!

Tips & Tricks of the Trade:

- Check your form. Mirrors in weight rooms are great for this. Use them.

- They're also great for checking out the guy across the room. Just kidding haha, but seriously they are awesome for catching a glimpse of how that super fit badass does his/ her squats. Form is extremely important, so pay attention! And don't get caught staring.

- Bring that business face. Or in my case, bitchface. (I bring it everywhere anyway). You better believe that when I walk up the stairs to that weight room, I'll have already started a song to get me pumped up (meathead alert) and my face reads "I'm here to do work". You don't necessarily need to be a dick at the gym, but it feels good to put the energy out there that you're not there for social hour. I don't like that shit.

- If you're not sure if you're performing a workout correctly, don't be afraid to ask someone walking by (such as a trainer or someone you know has been training for a while) what they think. Chances are, they won't mind one bit. It takes two seconds out of their day and more than likely will make them feel good about themselves that you asked. I wouldn't mind one bit.

-Take whatever free help you can get. I used to get so embarrassed if a trainer would take it upon themselves to come up and correct my form or give me suggestions while I was working out. I don't like to feel stupid. I learned however, that that is more than likely not their intent. They don't want to see you hurt yourself and they want you to get the most out of your workout. So listen. And if you're really not sure if it's good advice or not, google it.

-Follow some motivational motherfuckers on Instagram. Just do it. Some of my best workouts & motivation came from these badasses:
@Kmaecags
@JamesJessica
@Mminskyy
@Mshelllll
@Mankofit

-But remember not to compare. I know this part is hard but it's key. Your body is your own and it works in it's own way. Embrace those thick thighs, they'll help you with deeper squats and heavier deadlifts. Be grateful for those boney arms and know that once you build muscle, the definition will be amazing! We all have strong and weak points, every single on of us. Don't compare your journey to someone else's ending. It's simply not fair to you.

And finally...

-This quote. I read a lot of motivational quotes on a daily basis. But every once in a while I find one that instantly pumps me the fuck up. And this is one of them. This is one that I myself have said in my mind over and over again. In moments of intimidation and feelings of less than at the gym, I repeat this quote in my head and it helps remind me that I'm a fucking boss.

And so are you. I don't care if you've been training for 10 years or 1 day, that gym is YOURS for that 1 to 2 hours that you're there. And that's how you have to treat it, like the place is your own home and you have every damn right to be there. 

And fuck anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise. Know why? Because their opinion of you is none of your business. 

Now put on your sweats and get that cute little (or in my case big) ass to the gym! And please know that I'm always here to keep any of you motivated and I'll gladly amp any of you up when needed!!! In this fitness community (and in life) we've all got to be there for each other. We ALL deserve a chance to reach our bodies full potential. 

MissAlyss57@yahoo.com

Sex and shame.

I was watching The Jeff Probst Show yesterday on my day off. I know, I know, guy isn't funny at all and the show pretty much sucks but I like not having cable in my home so the rare times that I do decide to watch television, this is on one of 2 channels we get.

Anyway, so I'm watching this show and there's a woman co hosting, her name is Yvette Nicole Brown and somehow the discussion turned into her decision to be celibate until marriage. And when it was said in front of the audience, she didn't get much applause. So her initial reaction was to say "Come on you guys, celibacy should be getting more applause than that! You all know that there needs to be more of this going on in the world (while making motions of crossing her legs shut)." Then goes on to repeat that last line again. It seemed as though this woman was more so speaking to other women. At least that's what I took from it.

And that's when I started to get a little annoyed with listening to what she had to say. I completely understand that everyone has a right to their opinion. So here's mine.

It is 2013. Women have spent long enough being sexually suppressed and made to feel less than indulging in the same sexual activity as men. Simply because you have made a promise to yourself to abstain from sex until marriage, does not mean that that is the answer to the rest of the world's problems.

How about MORE sexual education? How about teaching our children how to be smart and properly deal with the normal human desires and emotions that are felt by practically every other human being in the world? How about not being made to feel shame over our sexuality?

“We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight.”

- John Lennon

I'd like to see a show of hands from how many people have ever felt shame after masturbating? Maybe more so in your younger age where you're just figuring your body out.

But we are taught from such a young age that anything to do with that area is shameful. Our parents don't know what to say to us, so they say "No, don't touch that. Bad." And that is where the seed is planted. And from there, as a woman there's no escaping the slut shaming that will cast upon us as we grow and head into adulthood. Anything that we willingly choose to do with our bodies with another consenting adult will not be judged fairly. If a woman sleeps with 20 people, it's a high number. If a man sleeps with 20, it's a fair number. Since when did the amount of people you've engaged in sexual activity with effect your character?? If you're with healthy mind & soul and you're using protection, what is the big fucking deal? Let me state it a little more clearly so that those that are reading that may have ever felt ashamed can hear it again: YOUR NUMBER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR VALUE. Say it and say it again to yourself. Until you believe it for fucks sake. And I want anyone out there that is choosing to abstain to hear this too. Just because you choose not to have sex, does not make you a prude or uptight. We are the rulers of OUR OWN bodies and fuck anyone that says otherwise. You are King or Queen no matter what.

This old age way of thinking has got to fucking go. Cherish and love your body, whatever you choose to do with it.

And there's my two cents Ms. Brown.

Fluffy Protein Pancakes

I'm constantly trying new things with breakfast now because I've never been very good about making myself eat breakfast on a regular basis. I found a new recipe for protein pancakes and ended up LOVING it. It's super easy too so you should give it a try!

- 3/4 cup oats (ground up to make a flour-like consistency. I used my food processor because I'm fucking obsessed with it and it only took 30 seconds!)
- 1/3 cup liquid egg whites (Or you can just use 1 full egg & then just the whites from another. I'm not one of those people that necessarily believes the yolk is bad for you, that's where all the protein is!)
- 1 tablespoon  fat free greek yogurt
- Stevia to taste
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- dash of salt (optional)

- Protein frosting: 1/4 cup greek yogurt mixed with Stevia to taste.

Mix all ingredients up. The thicker the consistency, the thicker the pancakes. However, if it ends up seeming too think, just add a little bit of water. Just a little bit though (I did). Use your spoon to spread batter onto pan rather than pouring it in. Cook on medium heat and enjoy. I was able to make 3 small thick pancakes and then I just layered the frosting in between cakes. Next time I'd like to add more frosting though because the cakes are a bit dry. Anyway, I hope you love em as much as I do!

Before

After

Homemade Clean Eating Pesto (with a vegan option)

- handful of spinach
- handful of basil
- 8 walnut halves
- sun dried tomatoes
- 3 tbsp of lemon juice (add more if desired)
- just a dash of sea salt & pepper
- 1/2 clove of garlic (I added more because I fucking love garlic)
- also I added 1 tbsp of virgin olive oil because I’m not vegan but original recipe I found online didn’t call for any.

Throw it all in the food processor til done! And put that ish on whatever you like (in TI voice). It's so damn good.

Lift heavy weights. Just fucking do it.

Listen, I'm no expert. I'm learning more and more everyday what the human body is capable of and how it works. But I do want to clarify a few things for the ladies out there trying to get into shape. Just some things that I wish someone had sat me down and told me a long time ago:

The main theme of this post is:  LIFT HEAVY!

There's a reason why I throw that hash tag (#) in with all the other ones on all my IG fitness posts (not that you read them all, it's a ridiculous amount of hash tags) and the reason is not to show off the badassness that is me : P, it's because it is a major reason why I've started to see major results and improvements in my physique. I spent too many years signing up for gym memberships and going in to solely use the cardio equipment or do some mindless workout, not seeing much change, and eventually not going at all anymore. I was so scared to really use any equipment or god forbid any of the free weights because I had it so fixed in my mind that, well fuck, I don't know how to use any of that shit and I really didn't need it because all I really wanted to do was "tone". Boy was I so wrong. The term "toning" now drives me up a fucking wall. Know why? Because there's no such goddamn thing. Listen up and listen hard because the advice I'm giving you right now is fucking GOLD. You will never get the firm body that you want if you don't BUILD MUSCLE.

-NO You're not going to "bulk up" or "get big".  Women physically are not built to bulk up like men. And the women who do, train for years to look that way. (Can we just stop and give those women a round of applause for a moment, seriously, they work so. damn. hard. to achieve their idea of perfection and are constantly ridiculed by people who don't agree with their physique. Fuck yeah ladies!!!! Keep on keepin' on!)

-NO You should not be lifting lighter weights with more reps. Unless you have a physical limitation that does not allow you lift heavy weight, well... Lift some fucking heavy weights. By all means do 40 reps of bicep curls with a pink little weight in your hand that by the end of, you're wondering why you barely felt anything. Or the next day you're wondering why you're only a little sore or maybe not sore at all. Keep doing that if you want results to start showing up twice as long as it would take if you were pushing yourself...

Did you read that part? Let me repeat that again. Lifting tiny ass weights will take you TWICE as long to start seeing results. And I know you ladies ain't got time fo' dat. I don't. I'm impatient as hell. I want results and I want them now, like all other women. So why not give heavy weights a chance??

If you're wondering where to even begin, here's the advice I give that has worked for me thus far. In general (not always) I follow what's called the 8 to 12 rule. If you can't perform at least 8 reps of an exercise at the weight you're using, try a lighter weight. If you are easily able to perform more than 12 reps with the weight you're using, try a heavier weight. That's it! And I usually end up doing 3 to 4 sets of 8 to 12 reps.

So when I say heavy weight, it doesn't necessarily have to be heavy. What I may consider to be heavy may not be shit compared to the guy next to me. But fuck that guy anyway. He has nothing to do with my workout, so zone him and his stupid fucking smug look on his face out... Anyway, more on that and dealing with gym intimidation in my next post (stay tuned!). What I'm trying to say is simply: Push yourself. Do it for you because dammit, you deserve the best. You deserve to see what you're capable of. You deserve to know what it feels like when you're ready to go up in the weight and know just how damn good that feels. So give it a try. Not for him. Not for her. Not for me. For you.

-Alyss

shoulder/ arm progress.

Rest week was exactly what the muscles needed. These bad larries makin' me feel like a beast. Back onto my fitness grind. John Lennon agrees.

Give me all the brussel sprouts...

After a week long absence from the gym and a whole lot of junk food & partying, all I really wanted was a HEALTHY dish of food and a workout session with a perfect uninterrupted playlist.

Although the time off from the gym may seem a bit much to all you fitness junkies out there, it was actually exactly what I needed... (okay, okay I could have done with a few less vodka & diet cokes).
I needed a goddamn reset. I needed some good quality time with a best friend to just veg out and watch horrible television for a bit and talk about nothing at all.

By taking this break, it helped me realize even more how much I fucking love bodybuilding (I've missed the gym so much). It made me realize I'm ready to push myself even more. I'm ready for a lot of changes in my life.

I'm throwing out my safety net. Besides, those are no fun anyway. Am I right?

p.s Most of my meals from now on will be eaten with chopsticks. Laugh all you want, I dare you to try it for one day and tell me you weren't focusing on your food and the enjoyment of it at least 50% more than with a knife & fork. Have a kick ass day!

Sauté cut up brussell sprouts, bay shrimp, organic coconut oil, dash of sea salt, 1 pack of little soya. 

Simmer on low.  

Enjoy.

Progress posts.

To anyone that's felt any certain way about them:

Believe it or not, I am as humble now as I was starting out on this fitness journey.

You may not know this because we don't speak on a regular basis but, I am.
I still turn into Miss Awkward when paid a compliment from anyone, even if it comes from my fiance or my best friend.
Any confidence that I convey, I've earned.
And how sad is it that in this society that CONFIDENCE needs to be earned?

With every progress picture comes a little apprehension... I'm fully aware that I'm open to judgements, scrutiny, and harsh words either typed in a box or said at home to a friend or spouse.
Sometimes it makes me wince and press delete. I mean, I'm proud of my progress and the hard work I've put into every step of it but maybe others don't want it shoved in their faces??

But then I remember seeing the progress pictures of women such as Anastazia Dalesandro and Jessica James. And I remember being inspired by those girls to get my own fucking life straight...
And I hope & I hope that maybe I can do that for someone else.

And that makes it all worth it.

But I'm not fucking invincible. I'm not Superwoman. When I see or hear things maybe I shouldn't, they still fucking hurt.

I'm still a human being. I will always always offer my support to anyone interested in getting into a fitness lifestyle and posting progress pictures of their own. I'm aware that there is a difference between tracking your progress and otherwise. I just wish everyone else was too.

But in the words of Aristotle, there's always going to be criticism. So buck the fuck up and deal with it.

Success

Writing is a lot like puking in the sense where if you don't get it all out, you feel uneasy. At least I do.

 I've had so much goddamn deja vu lately, which may be unrelated.

This urge to write usually comes right before I need to leave for work or before I know I need to head to bed, such as now. I need to be awake in the morning to work a Sunday breakfast shift. But I'm sick of putting things off. This gut feeling keeps attacking me. Over and over and I keep telling it fuck off, out of basically pure laziness or anxiety. Procrastination.

I watched a video recently that reminded me how fucking amazing I am. Not just me though, you too. You're amazing as well. But that I already know. I will gladly give any single person the love and praise that they deserve but when it comes time to look at myself in the mirror and say those same things, it's not as easy. But isn't that just the human condition? We're all stuck here in our own minds, trying to open them up. See the bigger picture.

And I saw a glimpse of the bigger picture listening to a gentleman named Eric Thomas tell a classroom full of students that the success that they want, they simply don't want it bad enough. He told a story about a man going to a guru for advice. He told the guru that he wanted to make a lot of money. The guru told the man to meet him at the beach and the man didn't understand why but decided to do it anyway and see what happens. So the next day the man shows up at the beach in a suit and the guru tells the man to start walking into the water. He's a bit hesitant but slowly and surely the guru has coaxed the man into water deep enough where he can shove his head underwater. The man is struggling, waving his arms, gasping for air and eventually the guru lets him raise his head above the water. The guru then asked "Let me ask you something... When you were under water, what did you want to do?" The man replied "I wanted to breathe." And so the guru finally replied "When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath, then you'll be successful."

And I've thought about those words, I've replayed those words, over and over again in my mind the past weeks or so since hearing them.

The key to life is always in our palm whether or not we choose to see it.

We are our own tools. We need nothing more than what we have. This canvas you're starting out with, these cards that you've been dealt ARE NOT an excuse. But how easy is it sometimes to use as a crutch? Too easy, for ALL of us. But the people reaping all the benefits of success are no better than you or I, they've simply taught their doubting fucking minds to shut the fuck up. Fear is a useless fucking liar. It is. Believe me when I say this.

"Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, and it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the "Someday I'll" philosophy."

- Denis Waitley

Sometimes I say fuck you California

There are many things I love about California but the fact that it's insanely overpopulated is NOT one of them.

Going to the grocery store and trying to decide what brand to buy of any particular item is close to damn near impossible without someone breathing down your neck, waiting for you to move. EVERY FUCKING GROCERY TRIP. EVERY TIME.

And I know this may seem silly but I cannot ever park my car anywhere that isn't parked next to someone who is always there. It doesn't matter if I parked in a close to empty parking lot half a mile away from the store I'm going to, someone will pull up and park right next to me at the same time. It's fucking annoying.

I don't live in the city anymore but sometimes it still feels like I do.

I miss parking on Main Street (Hyannis, Ma) in the middle of winter after it had been snowing and not seeing another person. Not a single one. And that may be a dumb thing to miss, but it's not dumb to me at all.

I miss privacy. Solitude.

I guess I never realized how much of an introvert I truly was until, well, now. Don't get me wrong, it's nice being around so many kind people all the time. But sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes it's all too much.

Sometimes I just miss my roots.